How I Screwed Up Bedtime

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Cosette has an extremely elaborate, ever evolving bedtime routine. The short version of it is she does whatever she can to extend the “awake” time and keep us with her. Duh. Doesn’t every kid?

“Sing songs.”

“I want watuuu” (water)

“I need to go poddddy”

“I need say nigh night Chaucer”

“I want Da da”

“I need to go poo poo.”

“I want watuuu”

“Sing songs.”

We always end up going full circle, but whenever there’s a change in our daily routine, it inevitably affects her bedtime ritual. For instance, this weekend Matt went to a conference in Arizona. His parents graciously saved my life by driving up and hanging out with me and the kids. After a whole day of weaseling her grandparents to give her everything she wanted and do everything she requested, Mimi and Papa threw in the towel at bedtime. And actually, it was the first time in her short little life that she said the words, “I’m tired.”

So I laid down in the bed with her and she proceeded to boss me in the typical fashion:

“Sing songs.”

“Ok, how about ‘You are my sunshine’?”–my personal favorite.

“No, Dada’s favorite.”

Great. Dada’s “favorite” is a song Adam Sandler made up for his guest appearance on Seseme Street. Like all of Adam Sandler’s musical numbers, it rhymes, has weird, quirky phrases, and is sung in a creepy high-pitched voice. This particular one has made-up words that are inserted to rhyme with “Elmo.” Matt loves it cause its kinda funny, and Coco loves it cause Matt loves it. So he plays it for her on his iphone throughout the day, and at night he’ll sing it for her.

I attempted to sing:

“This is the song about Elmo.
Elmo in a nutshelmo.
It’s not about—“

Here I totally forgot the rest of the lyrics. I mean, its a pretty ridiculous song. I figured I’m good at rhyming and could be fairly successful at winging it.

I tried again:

“This is the song about Elmo.
Elmo and his smellmo.
It’s not about a rabbit—“

Here she stopped me.

“No, Mama!”

“What?…[continuing singing]: It’s not about a rabbit—” (I had a pretty slick rhyme ready and wanted to get it out there. I’m way better at this stuff than Adam Sandler.)

“No!”

“Ok, fine. I don’t know the words. We’ll sing mommy’s favorite.”

“No! Not Mama’s favorite!”

Geez. What’s so repulsive about ‘You Are My Sunshine’?

“Well, what do you want me to do? I don’t know Dada’s favorite.”

Silence.

::crickets chirping::

::::::long pause:::::::::so long I think she’s fallen asleep::::::

“Its a shrimp.”

“Oh! That’s it! It’s not about a shrimp lifting his barbellmo! Coco you’re a genius! Ok, how about you help mommy. ‘It’s not about a penguin—-“

“Just sing Tarzan.”

*********
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I got out of her elaborate bedtime routine. 

2 thoughts on “How I Screwed Up Bedtime

  1. KLZ

    Never thought being forgetful would be so helpful, now did you? Parenting: life’s greatest…what was I saying?

    Reply
  2. kirstykaree

    awww my favorite is when she asked me, “sing lady gaga!” hahaha

    Reply

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