Organic People Are Annoying

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I should probably be careful about saying this. After all, I live in a world–country–town, that is obsessed with being healthy (and yet we are the fattest people alive, go figure). Anyways, a pet peeve that I have and maybe shouldn’t have is for people who are health nuts.

I’m not talking about people who buy granola bars and jog. I’m talking about people that ONLY EAT ORGANIC and let you know it. Here’s what I say to you, in my peevish fashion:

Ahem.

Good for you. You have money. You read books. You go green.

Praise the Lord.

Could you please not tell me about it?

Cause I watched Food Inc, I read labels, and I’m not a dummy. Our food is full of crap. But guess what? I cannot afford a complete organic lifestyle. I just can’t.

I do my best to make healthy meals for my little family, but yah, I use instant potatoes sometimes. In fact, last night I used them on Shepherds Pie and guess what? It was bomb. And we eat the occasional Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I’m sure there will be remaining particles in our colons five years from now, but you know what? They were on sale. Mmm hmm. And I can always do a colon cleanse, but I don’t always have a surplus of money to blow at the health food store. I wish I did.

Then I would be cool and jump on the band wagon of stuff-strutting, propaganda-pushing, guilt trip-loading health nuts that populate our nation.

Ok. I’ve had my peevish rant.

************************

Now for an apology. I love all of you healthy people. I feel like if you came to my house and used my toilet your poop would be clean. Thank you for that. However, I might be embarrassed to serve you my staple snack of Ritz crackers and cheese. My peanut butter is organic, cause I just think its better, so could I offer you that? And what to drink? Diet Coke? Oh wait! I’m sorry, you’re absolutely right. I might as well offer you battery acid. I’m sorry. Here’s some water. Crap! It’s not filtered! Umm, how about I just pump a bottle of my creamy breast milk for you. That’s about as organic as I can get these days.

See? I’m freaking out and you’re not even here. I both love and hate you organic-healthy-know-it-all-people. You make me want to be better, and you show me my horrendous shortcomings. And when you step up to the health nut soap box, my response is to listen with interest and then want to throw my biologically altered tomatoes at you. Cause I’m trying. But its not enough. And you make me realize how HUGE an organic lifestyle really is and I just want to be all or nothing. And I can only do “some.” So its lame.

And that is why this is a pet peeve that I have and shouldn’t have. Ugh. Off to go eat a hormonally charged chicken that spent it’s caged life knee-deep in feces. Hurray.

**This post was inspiring by a prompt at Mama Kat’s. Head over there for some great writing!

30 thoughts on “Organic People Are Annoying

  1. Victoria KP

    Great post (stopping by from TRDC). I agree completely. It would be lovely to eat all organic. But my family expects three meals a day–not just the one we could afford will all organic.

    Reply
  2. Apples and Autobots

    If that’s your baby–adorable. If it’s not your baby–still adorable. Also, I’m with you on the organic thing.

    Reply
  3. Sara R.

    Moderation people! Love this post!!!! Can’t we all just respect each other’s differences and live in harmony????

    Reply
  4. dialoguewithyou

    Awesome post…I could so very relate to it ????
    Loved the pictures ????

    Reply
  5. Kristi

    What a great pet peeve! You made me laugh…love your sense of humor!!
    Thanks for stopping by blog. ????

    Reply
  6. 2Belles2Beaux4me

    I’m completely in agreeance with you. I am embarrassed to have the organic people over for dinner lest they leave and criticize my food. But I am too shy to speak the truth so thank you for doing so. I can’t afford graas fed this and organic everything either so I just do my best and ask God to bless. The Organic craze is due to an over abundance of money and now that gas and food prices are about to skyrocket, The only optionn is for people to get skinnier, buy less and eat less. It’s a win-win. Thanks for posting. PS I don’t like those powdered potatoes. Real ones cost less and taste better but they do save time. I say “do whatever you want with your food” Just glorify God with your life and let him determine your days.

    Reply
  7. Jessica Anne

    So funny! I totally agree. I happen to be vegan, but my family and kids are not. It’s not for me to tell other people how to eat. If I choose to eat a certain way that’s restrictive, that’s on me. I might offer to bring something so I’m not hungry, but I never bad mouth some one else’s food choices. Not mine, or anyone else’s business.

    Reply
  8. Anastasia

    You are so right. I’d love to go out to a farm and pick my own perfectly grown, touched by only one hand, never even had a mean word spoken near it veggies, but I cannot afford it. I try and mix healthier things in with our diet when we can but in reality, sometimes, it’s mac n cheese.

    Reply
  9. The Lovely One

    Amen! I’m totally with you! It’s just so much easier (and cheaper!) to make Hamburger Helper for dinner!

    Reply
  10. kirstykaree

    hahaha you said what i was too scared to say. Living in SLO has made me feel the same way. ugh.

    Reply
  11. hilljean

    Lol! You are too funny :). I love your love/hate response to organic people. I have felt and still feel the same way at times. But I happen to be an organic convert. I thought you had to be wealthy to buy organic but turns out you don’t. You just have to be creative and determined. And buying organic “junk” is pricey and not good for you anyway so I don’t buy it.
    I recently wrote a post on why we eat organic foods. I hope it gets your good side. And maybe encourages you to keep on trying ????
    http://healthyhomesteading.com/2011/07/why-we-choose-to-eat-organic-whole-foods/

    Reply
  12. hilljean

    You are so funny but seriously. Don’t drink Diet Coke.

    Reply
  13. Kid Id

    This is hysterical – I could totally relate. I live in a really crunchy town of people that some folks like to refer to as BoBo’s (i.e., Bourgeois Bohemians). Uh-huh – people who have enough money to be able to look like they got everything from a thrift store, but in fact can afford luxury organic foods and hair dye and stuff.

    Reply
  14. hilljean

    I only get annoyed when I post something on Facebook about a yummy item I am enjoying, and the hardcore “let’s force the world to embrace my very progressive beliefs” organic-only guy pops up some link to an article about how the burger I made, the coffee I drink, the diet soda I occasionally enjoy, the apples I buy, whatever…will kill me sooner in life since they contain some amount of chemicals, hormones, poisons put in them by Government-subsidized big evil Right-Wing loving corporations.

    Reply
  15. jadenotjaded

    I’m all for eating healthy, but you’re right, organic = $$!
    Last year my mom turned 60, so I was going to throw her a nice little surprise thing. 2 weeks before the party she says she’s going vegan! WTH! Do you know what vegans can eat? Sticks and grass, basically. Sooo lots of research and I was able to throw her an awesome bat myself on the back vegan party. She stayed vegan for 3 freaken weeks! Ugh..I need some fried chicken!

    Reply
  16. Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy

    HA! This is perfect! I’m going to print it out and read it to the next organic person I encounter. Seriously, you said everything I’ve always wanted to say to them.

    Reply
  17. Kate

    Hi! I found your blog when you commented on my blog, and I’m so glad I did. Love it!

    Reply
  18. Hello! I'm Kate.

    You can feed me ritz crackers & cheese all day long & it doesn’t have to be organic!

    Reply
  19. Carri

    My mom jumped on that obnoxious bandwagon when I was pregnant. She’d call and tell me what fruits I shouldn’t eat and what organic product I should buy.
    I finally told her that SHE can do my grocery shopping for me. I mean, really, it was already a buck fifty a week with just two adults!

    Reply
  20. Mel

    Girl, you are so right! I mean, people should do whatever they want, but LAY OFF! We’re all doing the best we can. And, of course, your breast milk would not be good enough because you EAT the non-organic, so they wouldn’t think it was organic! Funny post.

    Reply
  21. Leelo

    Oh my goodness, Hil… I am so with you here. I feel the same way! I’m so jealous of those who can eat everything organically, and I’m sure just like everything else. Something is better than nothing ????

    Reply
  22. Vikki @ She Has Cute Shoes!

    Yep. I love the taste of organic free range chicken or organic grass fed beef but the only time I can justify the expense is when it’s on sale because it’s about to reach it’s used by date.

    Reply
  23. Mom for Less

    I know how you feel. I am about the least green mom on the planet. I admire people who are, but I HATE it when they make it seem like you’re a bad parent for NOT being green. My kids are happy and healthy despite the occasional cheeto or non-organic glass of milk.

    Reply

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