Hold You

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“Hold you.”

Coco used to say those words and my heart would melt like vanilla ice cream under warm caramel and hot fudge. It was always delicious.

I was afraid it would be unique to Coco, like many of her idioms that come and go with each new stage. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when of his own accord, Chaucer started saying it.

He’s so independent these days.

 I really do feel like I have two four year olds because he is every bit as coordinated and adventurous as his big sis. He is not my baby anymore. That little person disappeared months ago without so much as a goodbye note.

The baby’s replacement is a grimy little munchkin who at any given time is either giving me a heart attack with his dangerous feats, or making a mess with things he’s not supposed to touch. The child is by far the most exhausting source of energy I have ever encountered.

“Hold you” is a more an urgent need than a demand. It says “I need you to hold me right now. Drop what you’re doing and remember I’m still your baby.”

Those arms dart upwards, fingers wiggle in urgency, and the only thing will make the world right is for mama to hold you.

I honestly can’t say who needs this more: him or I. Those words save me from moments of inadequacy, depression, and even frustration. Maybe I’m broke, in pain, and need to clean my house, but all I really need to do in that moment is hold him.

It’s the easiest chill pill to swallow and I truly feel indulged afterwards. Like I ate a yummy fudge and caramel sundae.

Alright. Now I’m gonna go give him a couple squeezes before he does something naughty. Better hurry.

10 thoughts on “Hold You

  1. robyn

    Such sweet pictures!!! My 10yo used to say, “I wanna hold you” and it was every bit as yummy as you describe. You’re lucky to have another baby do it; my first daughter never did, but hopefully the youngest will. ????

    Reply
  2. hilljean

    Thank you ???? Yah, I think the second child just tries their hardest to catch up to the older sibling. I was shocked at how “advanced” he was from the start. Now I just see it as him wanting to hang with the big sis ????

    Reply
  3. hilljean

    Nora curled up on me this morning and crossed her ankles across my legs. My first thought was- I really need to clean the bathrooms while Zuzu is sleeping. My second thought was- OH MY GOD, you MORON, snuggle with your almost-3-year-old-because-this-is-what-you-miss-when-she’s-in-bed-or-at-school.

    Reply
  4. hilljean

    Love those pictures! He’s a real cutie. I totally understand – my youngest is about as coordinated as her older sister too!

    Reply
  5. hilljean

    I know. I have to remind myself too. I love snuggling my kiddos! It’s really like a mommy reward ????

    Reply
  6. hilljean

    {Melinda} My 12-year-old boy just asked me for a hug and they’re still delicious. ???? Hope he never stops asking.

    Reply
  7. hilljean

    I love to see older boys show affection to their moms and dads. The other day I saw a ten-twelve year old boy holding his dad’s hand on a walk. I about melted.

    Reply

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