A Game For Moms

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For the past two weeks I’ve suffered from this strange ringing in my ear. When asked to describe it to the doctor I said it was more wailing and gnashing of teeth than actual ringing, but that wasn’t on Web M.D.’s code of symptoms, so I kept that to myself.

Both the doc and I were surprised when he suddenly announced out that he, too, could hear this wailing and gnashing.

Hurray! A medical discovery–and I got to be a part of it.

While the wails were more like a banshee with a cold, the gnashing, upon close examination was actually a stream of words–and as we followed the sounds of hell starting in my ear and then the doctor’s, our search led us not into a waxy canal but there, sitting in two chairs.

My wee bairns. Caught!

The banshee and the gnasher of teeth.

“MOOO00000OOOOOOoWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMmmmmmm” wailed one.

“Euueeeeeuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwaaaaaaaa” gnashed the other, with body language and expression that said, “This sucks, and I want out of here. Also, I would like to play with that ear-device and can I have sticker? It’s time to go home and watch Toy Story for the forty-millionth time and I believe I’m about to poop my diaper…wait for it…yep. I just pooped.”

Well fiddle lee dee, said the doc. That’s the problem!

“But you don’t understand! I believe I’m having phantom hearing when they’re asleep or otherwise occupied? When will this horrible sound go away?

“When they move out.”

With a script for earplugs and a look of sympathy that said something like, “Better you than me,” he left me and my minions to go tend to actual ear-n0se-and-throat problems.

Me? My problem is that I have two whiners. Make that forty whiners, plus Caillou, because I live in a community with a ton of kids.

While I’m condemned to listen to all forty children wail and gnash, there is a nice consolation in knowing that it’s not just my kids. And, most importantly, my kids aren’t the worst.That right there makes me feel much better than it should. But still,  I have to listen to a lot of whining.

“I want waaaaaaaaaaaaaateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!”

“This playground’s booooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiing!”

And then, the most cursed of all:

“StooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooWWWWWWPPPPPPPPpppppphhhhhhhuuuhhhh!”

Never has the word “stop” taken so long to say as when it is in the mouth of an angry six year old. This word really does belong to  one particular boy on our playground. The way he says it with the added Ws and H’s and U’s amalgamates his ownership. For who could possibly break such a complicated bond of letters. They’re his.

I certainly don’t want my kids bringing them home.

*shudder*

If he were my child I would rather put a pencil in my eyeball than listen to that odious sound all day long.Wouldn’t you? Oh wait, you haven’t heard him.

Let’s play a game. The Would You Rather Game. I always love these questions as icebreakers and in long car-rides. But today I did something special: I wrote them up myself AND they are all related to parenting. Cool? You don’t have to answer all of them but it would be fun to hear a few of your choices, just for kicks.

Oh, and it would wonderful if you could share, tweet, pin it as well–whichever you prefer. I wanna get a bunch of peeps in on this game!

 

would you rather prompt

14 thoughts on “A Game For Moms

  1. Jenny Lynn

    I don’t want to re-live those moments. Trying to be grateful for where I am at right now. Living with 2 pre-teens, 1 teenager and 2 young adults making their way in the world. That by the way revolves around them.

    Reply
    1. hillary

      Haha! Wait, you don’t want a little cruise around puke and lice city with whiney little kids? But it’s so fun!

      Reply
  2. Facebook Follow-Up Friday #13 | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

    […] A Game for Moms: Would You Rather by Hilljean of Because My Life is Fascinating […]

    Reply
  3. Sarah

    Ooh the last one is super tough. As for question number 6, I think I’d rather have my child have pretty much ANYONE’S voice over caillou’s…

    Reply
  4. Last Week Was Fascinating: 3/17/13-3/23/13}

    […] A Game For Moms: Would You Rather. Trust me, this is a good one. It’s gotten a TON of shares on Facebook and if you post it on your wall, you are guaranteed to be awesome. I know, you already are. But I declare you even MORE awesome. Go give it a little clickety click. […]

    Reply
  5. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I hate backwash!

    Reply
  6. I don't know how

    […] So, for the fun of it, and also because it’s a writing prompt over at Mama’s Losin’ It, I’ve come up with a list of ten things I don’t know how to do. Mommy style. I’m on a “Mommy Style” kick lately. After this you should totes go read my Would You Rather Game for Moms. […]

    Reply
  7. Mel

    You are hysterical! For the record, I’d rather: drink the backwash, clean up at Target, playdate with hated mom, teething 6 monther, engorged breasts, Dora, flu, infant, library. Whew!

    Reply
  8. hollow tree ventures

    I wake up with the yougest’s pee in my bed anyway, I didn’t even get to pick! Ugh, I jet to have to choose between lice and flu, but I think I’ll take the flu – at least you know for sure when it’s gone.

    Reply
  9. Facebook Follow-Up Friday #6 | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

    […] What are your answers to the motherhood “Would You Rather” game? Check out her whole hilarious post. […]

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