I hope you all know that sometimes I’m really sarcastic and maybe even a tad caustic and cynical. At times. Other times I’m all butterflies and roses. But sometimes, like when I’m a little ticked off, irritated, or had a glass of wine, I’ll go off on my little rant and for the sake of the argument, say things that could hurt peoples feelings.
My whole life I’ve struggled with it. I’m good at saying biting things on the fly. I’m very good at finding where it hurts and squeezing out every ounce of personal pain. Yah, I’m kinda like a vampire, I suppose. A wordy vampire.
All right. Enough confessional. Now you all know how mean and dark I am inside. My heart of darkness–the horror, the horror! (please tell me someone got that reference).
You see, I’m feeling very guilty about something. I’m feeling bad about my post last week about Facebook. I’m worried that I might have hurt some feelings or turned you off in some way. I said, “Apparently, most of my friends are either the parents I babysat for, or the children I babysat. That’s right, Facebook is making me feel very old. And I’m not. Yet.”
I implied, or even said directly, that all the cool people left Facebook and now I’m stuck with the unworthy. That was mean of me. And not even true. There are TONS of cool people still on Facebook and that is why I still have my own account. I care about these people, I want to know what’s going on in their lives, and yes, I still get a sick satisfaction out of the voyeurism that is photo sharing.
When I said all the cool people left, I meant my sister. My little sis ditched Facebook and it made me very sad. And my Aunt Karee. And Amber. People that I’m close to, but don’t get to see that often are now shrouded in mystery without the good old Facebook to keep me up to date.
But there are still plenty of people keeping me there. And yah, I used to babysit their kids–or them, for that matter. And I do feel old when the five year old I remember is checking into college, but whatever. That would be the case with or without Facebook. I babysat some really awesome kids and their parents made an investment in my life that extended beyond the $30 I earned for watching their kids.
All that to say, I feel bad for giving the impression that I don’t like or care about the people that are still friends on Facebook. That is simply not true, and I hope you’ll forgive me if I’ve hurt you. I value our interaction on Facebook, and I value you as readers of my blog.
1.) Go beyond “liking.” It can be annoying when the only interaction you have is the “liking” that pops up in your notifications. Leave a comment. A thoughtful comment. It would be difficult to maintain any relationship in real life if everything was received with, “I like that.” Or silence. Feedback, people. It’s all about feedback.
This means that you need to comment back. And I am very guilty of not responding to comments. But if Facebook is going to be “social” we have to talk and interact. Have conversations, ya know?
Some things perhaps don’t deserve comments. This hilarious site shows you what to do in those circumstances.
2.) Leave politics out. There is nothing worse than seeing (or being a part of) a big, smokey blowout on a status update. I know you’re passionate, I know this is important to you, but politics are tricky. They find their way into peoples hearts and get all tangled up with emotions.
The result? Usually you hurt someone’s feelings and irritate others. And then you get blocked. Because people don’t get on Facebook to engage in a complicated political discussion. The best place to have one of those is in person, where you can at least see and hear the expression behind every word. And then you can have a throw-down on the living room floor, if you so choose.
3.) Invite people to parties, not Farmville.
4.) Try not to whine, brag, or say things meant for only two people on Facebook. It’s depressing to get onto Facebook and only see a bunch of whining. My two kids supply me with enough whining for a lifetime. I don’t need to hear yours too.
Now, if you’re struggling with something, like a physical ailment or going through a messy breakup, and you cannot help but say something slightly whiney…finish your statement with something like, “Suggestions?” In other words, create a discussion where people can help you find a solution. I’ve turned to Facebook to ask a number of questions about parenting, breastfeeding, cooking, and even getting puke out of a rug. And you know what? Those are the best conversations to have on Facebook. Because people like to share what they know and help you along the way. That’s why Pinterest is so wonderful–it’s all about suggestions and ways to make life better.
Use Facebook to troubleshoot and problem solve, not to whine or say nasty things to one person at the expense of your 400 friends.
I agree with the “likes” thing. It is nice that people like what you say and do…. and sometimes that is all I have time for, but it is so much nicer to hear what people have to say!
I love you for so many reasons. The start of your blog sounded like a description of me, but you are more articulate. Steve pointed that one out. ???? I miss you almost everyday and adore your blog. I promise to call tomorrow.
That video at the end made me cry. I am currently sniffling… and looking up flights to various countries around the world. I want to dance in South Africa. And St. Petersburg. And Hawaii. And Egypt. And Brunei. Amazing.
“____” love ya!!!!! MIMI
I agree with the “likes” thing. It is nice that people like what you say and do…. and sometimes that is all I have time for, but it is so much nicer to hear what people have to say!
I love you for so many reasons. The start of your blog sounded like a description of me, but you are more articulate. Steve pointed that one out. ???? I miss you almost everyday and adore your blog. I promise to call tomorrow.
That video at the end made me cry. I am currently sniffling… and looking up flights to various countries around the world. I want to dance in South Africa. And St. Petersburg. And Hawaii. And Egypt. And Brunei. Amazing.