My stepdaughter (13) never seems to be able to get ready on time for anything. Dentist appointment at 10:00? She’ll just be getting out of the shower at 9:55. Staying in a hotel and the check out time is at 11:00? She’ll still be in her pajamas and not packed at 10:50.
She was also chronically 10 to 20 minutes late for school last school year.
She ignores my wife and I if we try to give her gentle coaxing to get moving in the morning. If we try to be strict and tell her she NEEDS to be out of bed at x time and showered by y time, she snaps at us or shuts down and throws herself under the bed covers. If we try to talk calmly to her and ask her to brainstorm with us ways we can support her to get ready on time she also snaps at us and tells us she doesn’t need our help or just says “I don’t know” in response to us asking how we can help.
Multiple times I’ve had to call a doctors or dentists office and say we are running 20 minutes late and apologize, or call a hotel front desk and say we need an extra half hour past their check out time, all of which makes me uncomfortable as I don’t like to inconvenience others like that. The chronic school tardiness especially makes me concerned.
It’s gotten to where I’ve been fibbing to her about the times things are actually scheduled for to compensate for her sluggishness, such as telling her an appointment is for 10:00 when really it’s at 10:15.
For some additional context, my wife and stepdaughter are immigrants from another country where, my impression is, the culture does not consider punctuality to be as important as we do in the US. I understand and respect that but I really need her to meet me halfway here.
I’m not sure what else to try here or how to approach this and I’m looking for advice? Thanks in advance.