I reallt dislike posting the child’s entire life on social media. It’s one thing to include a family picture with everyone. But putting a child’s entire life online, without their consent, isn’t good.
Especially when it’s about what they’ve done wrong. Public internet shaming is one of the worst things one can do to a child, because who knows whether that will follow that poor kid around for years. When the cyber-bullying is coming from inside their own house, nowhere is safe. (And that’s not even getting to the people who “prank” their kids and make them miserable for the views.)
I had a coworker say we should get our daughters (same age like 4-5 at the time) together for a play date. I said sure and he response was “great two adorable little girls playing together will be great content for (kids name) YouTube page”
I told him absolutely not and they could only get together to play and he never spoke of it again.
Creep
Putting your kids in as many programs as possible. Assuming that it’s your job to help them find their “thing” so they can be happy and successful in life. I think it just makes kids over busy, stressed, unable to explore freely in down time, not know what to do with stillness.
Over scheduling activities. When I was teaching, I remember my kindergartners telling me they had no time to play because every day consisted of non-stop structured sports, dance and such.
Extremely strict rules in general. I had a childhood friend that came over after school once and he said he had to be home by 6. Didn’t think much of it so we lost track of time playing games. He lived about a 10 minute walk up the street and he noticed it was 5:52, then started freaking out. “My dad’s gonna kill me if I’m late!” I tried saying he wouldn’t care about 2 mins. The next day in school my friend said he wasn’t allowed over my house anymore, and I never hung out with him again, all over this kid being 2 mins late getting home.
As someone who was emotionally and mentally abused as a child, this was a “bread and butter” tactic. Setting boundaries for your child, however silly they may seem, (was once given a curfew a mere hour after I arrived at the friend’s house), and if your child fails it then gives the parent justification in the following abuse.
“I don’t want to have to do this, but you’re 3 minutes late and you don’t follow the rules so…” etc.
disciplining children based on what other parents are doing. What works for 1 kid won’t work for others
Not letting their kids make mistakes
My father in law made sure his daughters (my sisters in law) never had to experience a single consequence or reaction for their mistakes. They are adults in their late 20s now and both cannot handle the slightest gust of wind. They are very immature and developmentally arrested. One of them has never worked or paid a bill, and this is not a rich family.
My 9 year old left a big project until 9:30 before the night it was due, despite me asking multiple times if he had homework during the weekend, and came to me crying and wanting to finish it. I said absolutely not, he had school the next day, he wouldn’t do a good job because he would be rushing and he was upset and tired. But the most important thing is that I told him he had to tell his teacher the truth and that he had to own the fact that he neglected his work and would take the consequences whatever they may be.
I knew they wouldn’t be harsh; he’s in grade 4 and his teacher is pretty lax. But he’s been a lot better about being honest about schoolwork after that. I helped him finish the project the next day after school and it was a good thing I made him wait cause it took almost 2 hours.