PMS…Yep, totally going there.

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I’m sitting here with a carton of Thrifty Cherry Chip ice cream. It doesn’t hold a candle to Ben and Jerry’s, but I suppose it’ll have to do. Tomorrow’s a new dawn, a new day, and a new diet…I think. So yes, this is Diet Eve.

I’m just going to go ahead and get this out there, if you’re a man, you might want to opt out of this post. I believe I have about three male readers: Matt, my Dad, and Barry–the coolest boss I’ve ever had. Barry, this is one of those days you would rather I stay home, FYI.

I’m a mess. I get like this several times a year–or maybe once a month–but I like to think that it’s a rare occurrence. As I’ve already shooed the men away I don’t have to worry about their scorn and non-understanding opinions, so I shall be frank with you.

What is it with women? Why must we get this way? This is the time of the month that life scrapes over me like a scouring pad. No pun intended.

Everything’s against me. The universe, my children, my husband (sorry, babe), the random lady at the thrift store who chewed me out for grabbing something from her “pile,” and above all, myself. This is the time of the month I can’t stand anything about me and get by on tears and prayer. And yes, chocolate.

This cherry chip ice cream sucks.

I really do wonder what it is that the Lord wants from me when I get like this. Surely there’s an easier way.

The fuse is shorter, the problems are SO much more complicated, and I feel grotesquely fat and ugly. Did I mention my face also breaks out?

Yah, folks, this is me being CANDID. You know who else is candid?

The author of Proverbs.
“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” Proverbs 21:19.

It goes without saying that this book is written by a man. It also goes without saying that maybe that man should just go ahead and live in the desert.

But I am a mess, I’ll be the first to admit it. I need grace, and a lot of it. I need kind words, thoughtful actions, and unquestioned acceptance. I need this every day, of course, but these days more than others. Silly conversations, a cold shoulder, or even a delayed text message can send me into a tizzy. Everything’s distorted and disturbed and it takes everything to sort it through.

Now you might think, “Heavens, girl. You’ve got a case of the hormones.” And yah, I’m sure I do. NO, I’m not PREGNANT, let me just dispel that myth right now. It’s just plain old womanhood that ails me. Add to that motherhood and a really busy husband. Oh, and rain. And duck poop. And this crappy ice cream that I can’t seem to stop eating. Seriously, why does Thrifty endorse this?

*****
Well, this is weird. I stopped writing the above piece about eight hours ago. I didn’t really know where it was going beyond whining and lamenting the feminine condition.
It’s now 5:49 AM and I have slept maybe one hour. I’ve been up all night with a  puking Coco and now my husband is sick. Chaucer will probably be awake in about one hour. I can’t get the smell of vomit out of my nose.
So here I am, out on the couch with my electric blanket. Does the day start or end here? What do I make of all this? The PMS I was describing earlier dictates that I be a bitch for the rest of the day. I have every excuse, right?
This is where the rubber meets the road for me. I think I’m gonna just defy all this feminine hoopla and look it square in the face for what it really is. (And might I just add that I’m really glad I dismissed the men from this post–I still don’t want them in on the secret).
PMS…Pleasing. My. Selfishness.
There you have it. Yep, the hormones are raging and the forces of nature are powerful.
But at the end–or in this case the beginning of the day I’m still responsible for my self. And this self wants to be pleased by everyone and everything. I’d like everything to just work out to my advantage all of the time–especially during this time of the month.
Except it doesn’t. And it shouldn’t.
The scouring pad. The refiner’s fire. We’ll get through this, right, ladies?

19 thoughts on “PMS…Yep, totally going there.

  1. How Embarrassing

    […] Buying supplies for the monthly curse. It’s really the bar of chocolate at the tail end that brings the rose to my cheeks. Such a […]

    Reply
  2. hilljean

    I love how you say the truth in a way we all relate to and with humor laced through it all. So proud of you:)

    Reply
  3. Ali

    I love this post. So so true and honest. I’m right there with you today. I just chewed out a bank lady on the phone. It’s that time of the month hahaha too bad for her ????

    Reply
  4. hilljean

    Thanks, Keri! That quote is beautiful! And I REALLY needed it yesterday…and today. Everybody is better today but it kinda all caught up with me now. Ugh.

    Reply
  5. hilljean

    The saddest thing in the world is that I had a Ben and Jerry’s five minutes away from me. As in a five minute WALK away from me. And they closed like two weeks ago. I am so, so sad about it. ???? Now I’m gonna have to buy it at the grocery store like most people do.

    Reply
  6. hilljean

    I love the REALness and honestly with which you right from and yet still connecting it to the Father and submitting our feelings to His heart.

    Reply
  7. hilljean

    Oh I can so relate to this post. I swear the old I get, the worse the moodiness part of my PMS gets worse. I can deal with cramps & bloating, but the monthly psychotic episodes are really starting to wear thin!

    Reply
  8. hilljean

    Thanks for stopping by. Your post was HILARIOUS! I died reading it. So funny ????

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  9. hilljean

    I love your honesty Hillary. I’ll be praying for you today. ????

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  10. hilljean

    This was such great writing…Thanks for being so honest. It’s refreshing out here in blogland.

    Reply
  11. hilljean

    Sadly, I think there are people that get even worse! Eek! Glad it encouraged you ????

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  12. hilljean

    Me and you are in the same state right now, minus the puking kids. POOR COCO! POOR YOU! and I hope you all get over this business before next week. Love you sis, hang in there.

    Reply
  13. hilljean

    Ha. I should have read this before calling this afternoon. Love you. Love your awesome writing skillz.

    Reply
  14. hilljean

    And here I was beginning to think I was the only one who get this bad… Thanks for the encouragement, Hill! Perfect timing.

    Reply
  15. hilljean

    Aww thanks. Sometimes I wonder if my honesty is a little too much…but I guess it works. As long as I don’t start talking about bowel movements. My grandma would always let us know what she ate for breakfast and when she “had a bowel movement.” Maybe I’m heading in that direction :0

    Reply
  16. hilljean

    Thanks, Mama. You always encourage me so much! I write half of this for you ???? Love you!

    Reply

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