1. Jumped from a chair and landed face-first in the kiddie pool.
2. Played tag with 6 year old boys.
3. Was put in time out 5 times.
4. Grabbed a steak knife off of the counter (I thought it was out of reach).
5. Pushed our coffee table around the living room.
6. Chased some ducks. One of these days I expect him to drag one to the front door and leave it on the mat for me.
7. Pulled out an entire clump of moss from my backyard and brought it inside–dropping dirt all over my carpet.
8. Drank water from the toilet.
9. Took his diaper off about a dozen times.
10. Climbed onto an adult-sized bicycle and hung out up there for a while.
11. Figured out the lock on the fridge. Curses.
12. Walked around with a battery in his mouth until I discovered it. Someday I expect a surgeon will fish all kinds of objects out of his intestines.
13. Said “Dat’s Owwsome!”