Yesterday I had a golden day. Do you get those?
Basically, I just had a really great day with my little dude. But not just “great,” this one was golden. There were many of these days in the past. Chaucer was a cherub baby sent straight from heaven. He made Anne Geddes angel babies look like minions.
And then he got wild. Not just toddler wild, but straight up give-Tarzan-a-Redbull-and-let-him-drive-a-tractor-through-New York City-wild. If you’ve spent any length of time with him you will agree. My child is so wild that I am qualified to write a user manual for wild ones.
He’s been slightly sick–nothing huge, but a low fever and cold, so I think that might be the ticket to having a sweet day. Yes, I realize that sounds sick and wrong. Certainly it’s not practical, but I worked it to my advantage. It was the right amount of feeling crummy that he wanted me to cuddle him all day, but not so miserable that he cried and whined. The sweet spot.
I had things to do. My house was a mess. Of course I didn’t have to worry about dinner at all since I have a month’s worth of food in my freezer. Woot woot. {I warned you there would be excessive gloating} But there’s always something that demands our attention as moms, right? Millions of little things that crowd the moment with and suck you dry.
It was when he quietly got up from his chair, walked across the room, and and stood before me with a smile.
“Mama, I wanna hold you.”
I was working on an email, fully engrossed in blogging stuff. But the fact that he wasn’t whining, wasn’t demanding anything totally took me by surprise.
I looked up at my little boy whose arms were stretched out to me and a warm surge of golden reality flooded me.
This is MY son. I am HIS mom. Someday he will be a man–a husband, a father–making his way in the world. But today he is all mine. My own baby boy–and all he wants is for me to hold him.
I shut the computer, swooped him up into my arms and kissed the heck out of his still chubby cheeks.
“Where have you been all my life?” I asked him.
“I’m wiiiight here, Mama!” He chirped back.
Where I have I been was the real question.
My friend, Jessica, from Four Plus An Angel writes a poignant resolution to be “in the moment” with her kids this year. What she said really got to me. Too often my mind is scattered all over and I try to do way too many things at once. Yesterday showed me that I’m missing out. I’m missing out on really, really GOOD days with my kids. Golden days.
We had a couple of hours together before it was time to pick up Coco from school. I let him skip his nap because the time was so sweet. He ended up falling asleep on the way to school.
I know he was sick. He was not acting in his usual way, and that is why he was content to sit in my lap instead of climbing the walls. Yet, I noticed something: three hours of my complete attention made my boy flourish.
He was the very best version of himself. He didn’t whine, he obeyed me, he put away toys, and here’s the real clincher: he asked to hold my hand on the walk to the car. Usually he fights me on this every. day. Whattheheck?
I know I said he was in the sweet spot and all, but…was he being the best version of himself?
Or was I just there?
Because according to him, “I’m wiiiight here, Mama!”
Have you had a golden day like this where being a mom just clicks? Now, scurry over and read that post from Jessica. It’s way more eloquent than what you read here, I promise.
I love, love, love this sappy post. I miss my little boy but I love the man he’s becoming. Being in the moment is a constant struggle in this techno world but its so worth it when we grab those moments. I think when we break away from “not being there” it’s like exercising a muscle. The more often we practice the stronger we are to resist the out of the moment times and then the muscle memory kicks in ;). Great post!
Well said! You are absolutely right. I need to exercise that muscle more often.
It’s so sad when the “sick” moments are also the “cuddly” moments. (But they’re still the best.) AND SO TRUE- it’s amazing how a little bit of attention actually changes dispositions and focus. Sigh.
I know. Kind of ironic, huh? Oh well, I’ll take it ????
So sweet! I’m a little less further along in my job as a mom, my son is just 8 months old. But, I try to remember to be “there” and not there, and there and there too. Sadly, I’m not always successful. You’ve inspired me to commit to turn everything else off for the rest of the night. I hope you have many more golden days with your boy.
You will. Treasure this time now! Thanks for stopping by!
Yes, I love those days when everything clicks and everything just flows instead of running in stops and starts continuously. It is as if the stars align and everything is as it should be in the world. Those days are the best. Hope your little guy feels better – but that you still get to enjoy the extra cuddles, too.
Everything has to line up just so, but it was absolutely wonderful to experience. Love him so much!
I love those days too! My 7 year old will sometimes come up to me while I”m going nuts trying to work at the computer and her will say, Mom I need a hug, that is always my sign to stop and pay attention to him. I’m so glad you got some special time with your adorable boy!!
A golden day – I love how you phrase that. Yep, some days are easier than others, for sure. And you’re right, they are the best version of themselves when they have some undivided attention. That’s not something anyone in my house gets a lot of, but when they do, it is so wonderful
It was a good reminder to be more intentional with him throughout the day.
Yup. I’m making a conscious effort to work only when the boys are at PreK, and to spend more “present” time…if that means a little less blogging…the world will still spin.
I can totally relate to this. I had a wild boy too – who has now mellowed into an energetic boy. Oh, I could tell you stories of having to climb up trees after him when I was pragnent with #3! Some of my best days with him were when he was sick and my oldest was at preschool and the 2 of us were in the house alone with him content to sit on my lap. I am glad you two were able to have that time!
What a beautiful post! I have those moments and I love them!! But I also have many scattered moments of “getting things done” while my kids are begging for my attention just like you do. It’s so hard to stop in that moment and shift the focus on what really matters. I need to do more of that…so much more.
“I’m wiiight here, Mama!” That made my uterus twitch! What a sweet, sweet moment!
Twitching uterus. Bahahaha!
Aw, what a sweet post. Something to definitely look back on on a bad day.
Visiting from SITS
Thank you! I am thankful for the time and I know it’s a bright spot ????
haha, uterus twitch is the exact way to express how this post made me feel, love it.