Bad Blog Roommates

By |

Hey guys!

I want you to know that I have so much to tell you but very leetle energy to work with. I went to a blogging conference last weekend and it was AWESOME! Yes–so fun! So inspiring! So exhausting!

Wanna know someone who is more exhausted then me? My roommate, Caryn from The Midlife Guru.

Quick story for ya.

Caryn is a totally awesome, hip, fun lady. She is also extremely gracious and kind. We shared a bed. I know, I know. Want another juicy piece of info? We had never met before this conference.

Oh chill out. It’s called being frugal. Sorry, but I’d rather spend a few extra dolla beels on some fun clothes than a silly little thing like a bed.

Wanna know someone who would rather spend a few extra dolla beels on a bed than silly things like clothes?

My roommate, Caryn.

So here’s the backstory to this quick story: I flew out early Thursday morning from San Francisco. We had to leave our house at 4:30 am, and since I’m such a night-owl, I felt it was pointless to go to bed.

I decided at about 3:46 that this was a terrible idea, but I was resolute in my rotten plan.There could be no back-peddling if wanted to meet awesome people like Jenny from Jenny On The Spot.

I got a good two hours of sleep on the plane–but that was IT. When I went to bed on Thursday at about midnight I was dead. I assumed I slept like a rock all night.

Cary, would say it more like a giant Mexican jumping bean.

The first thing out of her mouth in the morning was, “Do you, like, cuddle your husband all night long?”

“No!” I exclaimed. “Are you kidding? I can’t stand to touch anyone while I’m trying to sleep!”

She looked at me like I had suddenly turned into a giant marshmallow or something. I could tell she didn’t believe me.

“Well, you were ALL OVER ME LAST NIGHT!”

She proceeded to say that all night she had about six inches to work with for sleep space. Caryn is a bitty thing, but who wants a sub sandwich as a bed? Apparently, I was on top of her all night–with my legs sprawled to either corner of the bed. Can we say Awwwwkwaaard?

She would push my body off of hers but like a bad egg I just kept coming right back. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.

I also shudder in my sleep. Did I know this before sharing a bed with a stranger? Why, no. No I didn’t. She made it sound as if she could deal with my hefty self lying on top of her, if ONLY I wasn’t convulsing like an overly caffeinated dingbat!

Oh wait, I am an over caffeinated dingbat.

Now, thank heavens, she said nothing about the three things that are foremost in my brain.

1. Did I breathe all over her with putrid breath?

2. Did I fart?

3. Did I cop a feel?

While I have no problem asking these questions to the entire blogosphere, I shudder to voice them to Caryn. I don’t know that I could bear it if the answer to any of those questions were yes.

The horror, the horror!

The next night, Caryn engineered an impressive barricade of pillows to thwart my odious wandering. Gosh I hate myself for Caryn. I’m fairly certain that Caryn doesn’t hate me. She’s much too kind for that sort of thing. So I’m gonna hate me for her.

But I really do love Caryn. That girl is a gem to put up with me and be so gracious about the whole thing. Also, she worked out both mornings. I slept. All over her pillows and side of the bed.

Yep. Caryn is rockstar.

Tonight, I find out if my own Mama is a rockstar.

I’m sleeping with her, and I know that if pull any of that business I got away with with Caryn, I’ll be in deep do-do. And please, God, don’t let me shudder tonight. Because any slight sound makes mom jump up and ready to sound the alarm==one akin to the one Paul Revere owns. I’m pretty my mom has access to this sort of historical  paraphernalia. Its just a hunch I have…

 

You see, right now I’m at my parents house working on a project to share with y’all. I know I’m not much of a DIYer, but I’ve enlisted my professional-painter brother, and super-creative sis-in-law to help me redo my parents bedroom. We spent yesterday at Sherwin Williams, HomeGoods, Michaels and Target. I had a hard time staying away from the color coral, so it will also be involved.

Guys, its going to look soooo good! You can look out on Instagram to see the process. Just follow @hilljean and I promise there will be significant before pictures, goofy in-betweens, and some sneaky afters. I cannot show you the WHOLE reveal, because that’s for a later time. But I promise to string you along real nice like.

Speaking of Instagram–y’all need to get off your butts and find the fascinating. Seriously, what the heck? You can do better than be mundane. Find. the. fascinating. Kapeesh? and tag it #findingthefascinating so that I’ll come check it out. I shall also follow you and promise to stalk you in a totally non-creepy way.

Ok, I gots to go to bed now! I love you all and hope to see you on Instagram!

But wait! I must hear—do you have any embarrassing sleep stories you’d like to share so that I could feel  a little less weird about what happened with Caryn? Pretty please?

36 thoughts on “Bad Blog Roommates

  1. Darcy Perdu

    Love this embarrassing sharing-a-bed story! I tell lots of embarrassing true stories at my website too — come on over and share some! Meanwhile, thanks for the laughs with your Nights with Caryn!

    Reply
  2. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

    Hilarious. Laughed out loud! And thanks for reminding me about Instagram. Ellen

    Reply
  3. Kim at Let Me Start By Saying

    At my first spa weekend I had arranged with some girlfriends, I shared a room with a friend.

    Who I proceeded to wake up in the middle of the night to play a game of Peek-A-Boo with. While I was sleeping.

    So, yeah. You could say I am a talker in my sleep, and a game-player. And kind of creepy.

    Reply
  4. christina

    ha! I have been in Caryn’s place, but it was with a more long term roommate and I don’t mind sleeping close – not on purpose, but it’s ok if it happens, lol. she did not, however, shudder =D

    Reply
  5. Sherry Carr-Smith

    Oh the fun of being frugal! I don’t know about your sleeping habits, but you’ve got some wicked dance moves ???? So glad you got so much out of BlissDom!

    Reply
    1. hillary

      Hahaa So you got to see the wicked dance moves eh? I did get a lot out Blissdom–including awkward memories ????

      Reply
  6. Capturing Joy with Kristen Duke

    ah ha ha! That was hilarious!! I’m not afraid to sleep with a stranger to save money, either;) It was SO fun to hang out with you at Blissdom!! We must meet again!

    Reply
  7. Anne (@notasupermom)

    This is such a relief to hear. I snore, toot, and cuddle. Also, I tried to steal my roomie’s pillow in my sleep. My husband told me I did this, but I was in denial.

    Reply
  8. Chris Carter

    You are so adorable, even and ESPECIALLY when you convulsively smother in your sleep! Now, the farting and bad breath are a game changer though… just don’t ask. That would ruin my love for you! LOL (Not really)

    Reply
  9. Caryn/The Mid Life Guru

    Loved your take on our little experience, Hillary!!! I am laughing so hard right now. Yep, it is a good story!!! Thank heavens for pillows!!! Love you!!!

    Reply
    1. hillary

      Oh Caryn! I feel so bad for what happened to you! You poor thing. I couldn’t have slept with a kinder more gracious person in that situation. I’ll never forget your kindness. So glad those pillows helped us through the second night!

      Reply
  10. Natalia

    You’re hilarious! Who knew? We need to chat soon so I can hear about it all! Let me know when!

    Reply
  11. Amanda Nelson

    Haha! I laughed so hard when you said “Oh wait, I am an over caffeinated dingbat.”

    That describes me so well!

    Reply
  12. Aleta

    I’m a talker and mover in my sleep, been known to sleep walk… And once I slept called my husband when we were dating! But worst story was when I didn’t sleep at all one night before taking a flight… I slept on the flight and my snoring was so loud it woke me up! The stranger next to me had such a look of disgust on his face oh my gosh.

    Reply
    1. hillary

      THAT is my husband. He will snore so loud on planes and passengers just want to throw him out. Poor guy. At least when he flies with me I can monitor him, but on his own he is like a rotten egg.

      Reply
  13. Anna

    This is so funny, the two times I’ve shared a room (and a bed) at blog conferences we joked we all “mom slept” too tired to toss-n-turn, etc. we were just out. But maybe my roomates were just being polite when they said that…

    Reply
  14. Kristina @ Sew Curly

    And I thought it was terrible that i dropped my phone in the toilet at BlissDom! ???? Sounds like you guys got along great!

    Reply
    1. hillary

      Oh girl! That is terrible—but mine’s worse ???? hehe

      Reply
  15. Kristen

    Oh, now that’s some funny stuff right there! My finace says I’m like the second hand on a clock when I sleep. Constantly in motion. And I will fully admit to it, too. I start out in a normal position, then I’m on my side, then feet at the head of the bed and head at the bottom, then back to normal, then sideways… Yep. That’s me.

    Reply
  16. What A Bad Day.

    […] been a busy two weeks. Between a blog conference, visiting family, and a complete makeover on my parent’s bedroom (more on that later), oh, […]

    Reply
  17. Kathy at kissing the frog

    I am a sleep talker as well. I think once when I was younger and had a friend spend the night, I screamed in my sleep. Scary.

    Reply
  18. Jenny Lynn

    I grind my teeth. That has put me off from wanting to share a room or a bed with anyone for years. Other than with my hubby.

    Reply
    1. hillary

      I probably do that too, and she just had the grace to not tell me. So embarrassing because you cant do anything about it!

      Reply
  19. Heather

    This is exactly why I decided to splurge on my own room. With a giant KING sized bed. All to myself. Next year I may share a room (not a bed), but the jury is still out on that one! It was great meeting you at BlissDom, I wish we could have chatted more. I didn’t know you from SF area. I bet we were on the same flight to Dallas!! (Disclaimer: You may have told me where you were from, but the 6 glasses of wine I drank to “take the edge off’ may have clouded my memories a bit.)

    Reply
    1. hillary

      Hey! This comment was buried and I didn’t see it! Yes I am in Northern California up by Sacramento–I wish I would have known you were on the plane ???? It was lovely meeting you! Are you going to any other conferences this year?

      Reply
  20. Susan Van Heuvelen

    I laughed pretty hard at your fevered questions, i.e. did I fart, cop a feel etc. So, so funny! And I totally needed a laugh today too. Like your post about having a crappy day by 10 a.m. that’s my day today! Thanks!

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Sherry Carr-Smith Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *