Things I Say At The Dinner Table

We don’t have a traditional sit-down dinner every night. Several nights a week, my husband comes home well after dinner time and those nights usually consist of cold cereal or sandwiches for dinner. Other nights we collaborate with my in-laws and I usually skate by without having to do any work.

My favorite phrases I hear from my mom and dad in-law?

“Relax!”

“Don’t you dare do those dishes!”

“It’s ok, we got this.”

I hope to heaven they get some extra jewels in their crowns for giving me such a nice break!!

But when we are all at home, I do try and make dinner a special event. If you follow me on Instagram (and you totally should) you’ll sometimes catch me in the midst of a domestic moment. It’s very sweet, I assure you.

The kids and I set out the table.

We sit down and pray.

And then we try to eat.

Together.

But it never just “happens” without some kind of weird interruption.

Here’s a brief synopsis of what I find myself saying at our dinner table:

“Put the noodle down so we can pray!”

To my husband: “Don’t you dare say ‘thats what she said!’”

“You have to wear more than underwear at the dinner table.”

To my husband: “Can you please help him back into his underwear?”

“The food sits on the table. You sit on the chair.”

To my husband: “It would have been better if one of us majored in zoology.”

“It’s not nice to talk while your sister prays.”

To my husband: “What are they teaching him in Sunday school?!”

“Dinner time is NOT the time to go to the bathroom!!”

To my husband: “Can you go wipe her? After all, I’m dishing up the lasagna.”

“You’ll never get big if you don’t eat that.”

To my husband: “I can’t eat that or I’ll be huge.”

“Just dip it in some Ketchup—then you’ll like it.”

To my husband: “This is why we have no friends.”

“I am DONE for the night. No one talk to me!!”

To my husband: “You’re doing the dishes. Peace. Out.”

What do you find yourself saying at the dinner table?