Sorry I’m Still Pregnant

Guys, I’m getting into that late pregnancy funk. The kind where all you can think about is getting the baby out and nothing else matters.

Every twinge, every spasm makes me pull out my phone and check the clock. So annoying, because there are lots of twinges and spasms.

Also, I feel as if I’m carting a bowling ball between my legs. Part of me worries that the baby is just going to fall out while I’m in line at Target or something. I mean, I’d probably get a viral video and no hospital bill, but I don’t know if I could handle hearing “Cleanup on register 4!!”

I’m just a few days away from my due date, but I’m absolutely miserable. Sciatic nerve pain, swollen feet, and swollen hands. If you have claustrophobia, I don’t recommend pregnancy. Its like being trapped inside a bounce-house version of your own body.

I just want to say I’m sorry for not being a better blogger. But you probably wouldn’t want to read any of the things I’m interested in right now.

I keep googling images of mucous plugs and rereading all literature on early labor signs. So yah, you probably don’t want to read about that, right?

Also, I can’t call anyone without saying, “Nope. Not in labor yet.” I think I’d like to crawl into a cave with a box of donuts and just not come out until its the real deal.

So forgive my absence or sporadic posting schedule. If you want to know when things really start shaking up you should follow my Instagram