Yesterday when I (F26) arrived to pick up my daughter (F2) from daycare, she was screaming and on the naughty corner seat. I knew she’d had done something wrong so I quickly signed her out so I could go to her. As I was signing her out, I’d heard a teacher shouting at her to stop crying & when I’d turned to get her, another teacher had taken her out of the naughty corner seat and moved the seat to where the other kids were. She then picked up my daughter & very hastily threw her on the seat. Throughout this whole process no teachers had seen me arrive & the two continued to shout at her to stop crying, making her cry even more. She seemed so traumatised.
I then walk to the area they were in & the head teacher came out from another area calmly explaining my daughter had pushed over a new child who is still trying to find her grounds within the daycare. I immediately felt guilty & apologised for my daughters behaviour. She then explained that my daughter was having trouble responding to being in the naughty corner and that is why she’s so upset, but she did not see or hear her other two staff members mishandle my daughter.
I do not want to make a complaint because these two teachers are the type to pick on my daughter if I’ve had a word with them or management. I have overheard them express their distaste for other kids while I’ve dropped my daughter off.
But on the same hand I know I need to say something about it because now I fear for my daughters emotional health as I believe they do not know how to effectively correct her. I know what she did was very wrong but I also feel the way they handled it was also wrong.
Now I just feel like I cannot trust what they say about my daughter when I pick her up, because the teacher that mishandled her usually sings my daughters praises when I see her but now I’m wondering if it’s all an act. Every day when I get sent an update of the daycares daily activities through the app, there’s plenty of photos of all the other kids with staff members enjoying themselves then there’s probably one photo, if not none, of my daughter. I’m beginning to wonder if they’ve already decided they do not like my daughter but put on an act while I’m there because they have to.
How do I go about letting the staff know my stance without it affecting their treatment of my daughter?
I would get her out of there immediately.
There should not be a “naughty corner”. That is an ineffective method of guiding behaviour. Very outdated.
Remove your child and report the centre to the relevant authority. When someone is abusive to your daughter you must be able to act in a way that protects her and results in action being taken against the abuser. This is one of those times. In the meantime, lots of cuddles!
I remember every place I went to had a degree of abuse to it, the places remaining would get progressively worse. Often would have been better off if my parents had never found out anything every step of the way. like it or not, our children aren’t great at detecting nor articulating what’s going on and parents have nothing else to go on…
There aren’t many places to put our kids to begin with… all daycare is expensive and none of them are family nor earned our trust nor love our kids. often it’s quite the opposite, putting on an act around parents.. all during a time when our children are at their most vulnerable and need home family and love the most, we deny them that like it’s normal healthy and fine
No one’s comfortable talking about how we created a world unfit to have children.. But as long as we’re fine normalizing PTSD, sweeping it all under the rug, pretend the anxiety and depression they develop is just part of their natural quirks, we can basically get away with pretending whatever we want..
kids needs their parents.. any primate requires 5-7 years of it before they can recreate that magic of home family and love inside themselves. it unlocks their resilience, that inner rock star we all have. the more complex the primate the more time required. humans are the most complex yet typically get the least exposure during critical years
they have to go almost their entire lives before they can find it on their own, finally awaken to who they were always suppose to be. most never do, instead opt to settle for codependent dysfunction
Forget about “not rocking the boat” or any of that shit. Your primary concern right now is to discard any excuses and get her out immediately.
Your kid is not really safe there, emotionally or physically.
Pull her out immediately and tell the owner exactly why, in detail. Forget about proof or whatever; that’s their problem. Once you inform them that they’re losing a customer because their staff are allegedly abusing a child, they have a responsibility to look into it. That’s on them.
Holy shit, I didn’t even finish reading. Two massive red flags aside from how they were handing her (I’m Montessori toddler teacher with a BA in early childhood):
They have a naughty corner. What in actual fuck?! That is SOOOO inappropriate for a 2 yr old! Really for any young child.
They speak badly of other children.
They CLEARLY do not understand or have a bare minimum grasp on child development or behavior for children this age. They SHOULD NOT be working with children. I would fire them all immediately (yes, I had that power in my classroom with my assistants).
Do not put your children in a classroom that has either of these things. They signal so many things that are wrong! One, for example: 2 yr olds aren’t “naughty”!!!