At my first shitty retail job, I knew corporate was coming to visit. I also knew that my usually chill boss became really shitty trying to suck his boss’s dick.
So what I ended up doing was deciding to do the ol’ fake stomach illness. There was a stomach bug around so it wasn’t too unbelievable. The day before I acted a little weak and queasy towards the end of the day, and made sure my manager knew.
Next morning, when I called in sick, I made it all theatrical. I stayed in the bathroom, opened the toilet, and faced it when I called, so I could get the authentic speaking into the toilet bowl sound. When I made the call, I asked for my manager sheepishly, got really nervous, then proceeded to actually throw up.