This year is all about being productive. Not reproductive. The ol’ husband nixed that idea.
But if I can’t have a bun in the oven, I might as well have a month’s worth of food in the freezer, right?
Yes, I know somewhere I skipped a beat but its just too hard to go back and figure out where it all fell apart. Or came together.
All you need to know is that Pinterest is to blame. It always is.
I got to thinking about it and realized that last year I really sucked at cooking. The few times I did cook, it didn’t suck. But then I just never cooked. And that sucked. There was much cereal. Much pizza. And many last minute trips to the grocery store for rotisserie chicken and bagged salad. The fact that I felt really good about myself after the chicken and salad dinner just goes to show how pathetically far I’d fallen out with my kitchen.
So this year, I decided to shake it up a bit. Or a lot.
I realized I hate being in the kitchen (unless it’s for baking cookies, or I’m sitting at the table while someone else cooks. Then I don’t hate it). I realized that I need to minimize the time I spend in the kitchen. But we still have to eat, so the minimal time I spend ought to be maximized in productivity. Mind. Blown.
Enter Pinterest and freezer cooking.
Hmmm. So apparently there’s a bunch of women out there with freezers full of prepared meals. Not nasty tv dinner meals. REAL meals just waiting to be popped in a crockpot or oven. Imagine. A month’s worth of home-cooked dinners waiting in the fridge.
I’m fairly certain that if I didn’t have to worry about dinner every day that I would take over the world. Not making any promises, but I think it could happen.
Except it won’t. Because I’m scared to death of this freezer cooking thingamajig. Here’s the scoop:
I did the reconnaissance. I scoured through a million and two pins on Pinterest. Yes, even the most evil 404 redirects. I, gasp, had to even “Google” some of my search for freezer meals. I made my menu for the month. I wrote my detailed list. Aye, down to the last bottle of red wine vinegar and refill bag of herb de provence.
I’ll admit, I felt a cold tingle of power course through my wrists as I held the master list in one hand and pushed a full cart with the other. My husband trailed behind with ANOTHER full cart. Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
For the duration of the ride home I whooped and gloated. Checking off my ingredients with a scrolled flourish.
And then we came home and unloaded it all.
And that’s where everything went wrong. It was all well and good when things were parceled away in their little bags. But as we removed each item from its bag, everything got real crowded real fast.
No one showed me this part on Pinterest. No, no, no. On Pinterest, the meat was cubed, the vegetables chopped, and four hundred cans of tomatoes were lined up in alphabetical order. Figure THAT one out. I saw pictures of kids helping their moms with the prep work. Yes, I was under the impression that there could be some parent-child bonding with my cooking enterprise.
I know the freezer moms of Pinterest lore MUST have unloaded groceries at some point, but surely they had a method to their madness. There’s got to be something I missed. Because my kitchen looked so very un-Pinteresty.
So I made chocolate chip cookies, ate some dough, and started to feel more confident about this whole freezer enterprise.
Then I succumbed to the premiere of Downton Abbey and ate too many cookies. Of course I was bloated and miserable afterwards. What, oh what, will happen to Downton? Will Matthew give away Lavinia’s money to save the estate???
I turned to my kitchen and changed my tune to, “Who, oh who will put away my groceries? Wherefore art thou freezer chef? Whence shalt thou replenish my fridge and cleanse my kitchen?”
Panic causes me to lapse into Shakespearean. Apologies.
So…this is what my kitchen looked like. As you can see, nothing chopped. No alphabetized tomatoes. No smiling toddler.
Just me and my disgusting kitchen. Oh, and some cookies. Hairy cookies.
Tomorrow I will try again. I will try to do more than procrastinate by eating cookies and blogging. Oh, I will blog. I will let you see if there is progress to be had. But consider this the missing “pin” in all those inspirational freezer-cooking-pins.