Why I’m Not A Crazy Coupon Lady

By | August 1, 2011

crazy coupon lady

I consider myself to be fairly savvy at saving money. I visit the daily money-saving sites, and I scrounge around for multiple copies of the Sunday paper. I clip and organize coupons. I plan my grocery trips around what is on sale, and I get a good old-fashioned rush when I score a deal.


I abide by a particular credo to set myself apart (ok, above) my fellow coupon-aficianados.

1.) I will not be greedy. Just because I have twenty coupons doesn’t mean I need to take all twenty products and leave the next person high and dry waiting for another shipment.

2.) I will not shop like a fat kid. Yes, Twinkies might be on sale, but that doesn’t mean I need to fill up my cart with them.

If Sees’ Candies had such a sale, maybe.


That will never happen, and if it did I’d assume that I had died and gone to heaven, and therefore not worry about the consequences of a year’s worth of Cafe Au Lait Truffles. Can you IMAGINE?

3.) I will strive my utmost to not be annoying. As in, I will not use “couponing” as currency for conversation. Except for this post. Ahem.

I know that TLC’s Extreme Couponing is exceedingly old news by now, but I feel as if I’m really bearing the brunt of it in my small town.
Here’s the deal: we have two Rite Aids and one CVS. And while we do have a few major grocery stores and one Target, praise be, but we just don’t have a whole lot in the way of drug stores. If you know anything about couponing you understand that drug stores can be the life source for saving money.
So here’s my issue: I’m sick of showing up at Rite Aid on a Monday with Sunday’s coupons, and finding out that the crazy coupon lady beat me to it and swiped EVERYTHING.
A few weeks ago (couponers will probably know EXACTLY what week I’m talking about) there was a sweet deal for some razors at Rite Aid.
Sweet, as in FREE.
They were on sale for $2 and I had a couple $2 off coupons. My plan was to show up, buy a few razors, and then do a happy dance for getting something for free.
I show up at Rite Aid with hairy legs and wilty coupons and what do I find? The tell-tale sign of a crazy coupon lady: empty shelves.
So, I go up to the counter and ask for a rain check.
A few days later I send my husband to the store with rain check in hand.
My hunter-gatherer comes home empty-handed. He too had been defeated by the crazy coupon lady. I’m telling you, it leaves a sour taste in your mouth to be duped twice.
Several days later, and consequently, the last day to use the coupons, I show up with nary an ounce of dignity left. Somehow, these razors signify so much more than tools to trim my leg hairs. I am Sisyphus and these razors are the damned boulder that keeps smashing me in defeat.
Well, guess what? Yep. She got me again.

So yesterday, MUAHAHA, I saw a deal for noodles. Noodles are one of the few food groups reverently beloved by the littles. I could definitely put these noodles to use. They weren’t free, but I paid about $.40 a box. Not too shabby, right?

Here’s how it went down: We’re at the store and I see some noodles. I remember a coupon (left at home, of course) for said noodles. Somehow, on aisle 10, these noodles become the boon to my drugstore defeat.

I pack my two littles back into the car and scurry home for my handy-dandy coupon binder. I know. I’m pathetic. But don’t you see it was not really about the noodles and ALL ABOUT THAT CURSED COUPON LADY??


I prayed I wasn’t too late.

When I arrived at the store I saw that she hadn’t been there yet. And then I grabbed eight boxes, and wondered if I should try and piss her off by taking the whole lot. After all, I had plenty of coupons.

I then remembered that she wouldn’t know it was me probably has the manager’s phone number on speed dial, and would know ahead of time that the store was out of product. She wouldn’t need a raincheck. And then there was that *hypothetical* little old lady who would be coming in after me for some much needed noodles. I wanted to leave some for her. Not her.

Now, one thing that needs clarifying.

You might suspect that I broke my own rule and shopped like a fat kid by hoarding noodles. But here’s the thing, my kids DIG noodles, and they last for a long time. The box says until 2019, but that just seems gross. However, I do think they will last us quite a while.

And they’re not Twinkies, remember?

They’re also not Sees, but I do feel like I won this time.

8 thoughts on “Why I’m Not A Crazy Coupon Lady

  1. hilljean

    that irritates me too. it’s like COME ON. no you do not need all that crap and the rest of us would like to use our damn coupons we wasted half our sunday getting and cutting as well! damn greedy people.

  2. hilljean

    hahaha you are killing me!! Keep couponing, because I always seem to reap the benefits of your savvy saving ????

  3. hilljean

    I have never been able to figure out why these coupon psychos feel the need to hoard every bit of shampoo, soap and toilet paper that ever existed. I, like you, would think it was pretty cool to get a pack of free razors and move on. I don’t need my own personal grocery store in my home. Darned coupon lady!

  4. hilljean

    Yah, it seems like there comes a point when 100 sticks of deodorant would be enough. For like 5 years.

  5. hilljean

    Ha ha! Love this. I cannot get behind the couponing thing. I just think, why do I need 8 million boxes of toothpaste? And where am I going to put it all? I’ll just buy my one tube, on sale, and be done with it!

  6. hilljean

    Hahah! Yes, that is exactly how I feel! If I’ve spent all that time I want to at least have a little payoff. And it seems really wasteful to hoard things you don’t need.

  7. hilljean

    oops somehow I was signed in to your account. I wrote the comment below. ????

  8. hilljean

    Hahaha u and your hairy legs crack me up! I especially love the picture of you with your noodles;) Good job momma!


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