What I Would Say To My Teenage Self

Circa 2001

Dear Teenage Me,

If I could I would reach through space and time I’d give you a hug. While I kind of laugh at your wardrobe and foibles, or just wardrobe foibles,  I like you. You didn’t do anything really wrong or embarrassing in high school. You tried to be good, you tried to make things semi-easy for your parents, and you weren’t that mean to your younger sister.

You had some great times and some not so great times. I want to tell you to just relax. That new school you’re going to? Seriously, you have nothing to worry about. No, you’re not the ugliest girl in the school–not even close. I know you feel chunkier than all your twiggy friends, but I promise the weight will even out. There will even come a time in your life where you’ll lose weight without trying! And ultimately, you’re really not fat. Really. You’re not.

Silly teenage me.

I want to tell you that that acne is building character. And so is the extra ten pounds. And so is your dad losing his job.

I wish Chuck didn’t die. You’ll always wish that and it will never cease to shock you that he’s gone.

That’s why I’d like to give you a hug. I remember how much you carried those sorrows every day and how you’d sneak in the bathroom to cry. It’s ok.

Now, I just want to give you a little practical advice, mkay?

1.) I know you’re excited that your braces are off, but you don’t have to show every single canine, eye tooth, and molar in each picture. Yes, your teeth are straight. No, not everyone needs to see that.

2.) Buy a pair of decent jeans. Your Sears Canyon River Blues are just not cutting it. I promise it would make the world of a difference if you’d just go to a nice store and spend a small bundle on making that butt of yours look like it belongs to a 15 year old and not a 40 year old mom.

3.) Don’t diet. Did I say that already?

4.) Don’t try to play softball. I know a lot of your friends are doing it, but it’s going to be a miserable experience for you. You’re terrible at it–so just go do something else. Like drama club.

5.) You and Amber should seriously stop writing down all your daydreams. You’re not going to like that they are on paper someday. Oh, and that guy that you have an insanely creepy crush on? Amber’s gonna marry him, so yah. Look elsewhere.

6.) Speaking of boys, you know the One is just around the corner? Actually, he’s sitting next to you. Yep, the guy that makes you laugh more than anyone else you’ve ever met–he’s the one you’re going to marry. The spikey hair and Pooka shells are only temporary.

7.) You guys should really be more careful when you realize that you are passionately in love. You’re gonna piss off a few people. Namely, the girl that he dated before and some of her friends. So tread lightly, ok? You might hurt some people and you won’t feel great about that.

8.) Don’t let that doctor operate on your foot. Believe it or not, that’s gonna be the start of a series of NINE foot surgeries. Find a better doctor. Oh, and don’t let any of them fuse your toe. It’s not going to work. You’re gonna get it fused anyway, regardless of my advice from your future. So hear this: after they fuse it, DON’T wear those high heels. That’s gonna end in another foot surgery.

9.) That wonderful friend, Candace, the one person at your new school who really understands you and knows everything that’s going on in your life–welp, she’s gonna be around forever so don’t fret when you have to move. In fact, she’s gonna marry your brother so yah. She’ll be around.

10.) There are certainly some hard things in your life right now. I wouldn’t take any of that away because it’s making you stronger and teaching you important lessons. There is a payoff. You scored some really great friendships and a wonderful husband. I’d say you’re doing pretty well.

Well, that’s pretty much all I wanted to say to you. Hang in there.

Love,

Your Future Self.