Five Horrible Haircuts For Little BoysJan 22nd

I’m a sucker for little boys with long-ish hair. Not like ponytail long, but surfer-boy long. Know what I’m saying?

 

But then, Coco got her hair cut and I sort of felt scissor happy. And then I had this really swell idea for a blog post. So I went with it.

ugly boy haircuts

Don’t worry. He didn’t suffer too long. And I fed him a few candies along the way. Sugar free, organic ones. If that makes you feel better.

Ok fine. They had sugar. And red #4. Alright. Let’s move on to the hair cuts that you should NEVER give to your son.

First up, the mullet.

little boy with mullet

Why were these popular again? Business in the front–party in the back. No, it cannot be business when you see a straggling curtain swinging behind. That any child should be subjected to something so hideous is a crime. A crime of epic proportions.

 

I’m sorry, when you part your hair like this all I can think is that your face looks like a butt. That is all.

 

little boy with rat tail

The Rat Tail, or in other words, the skeezy cousin of the Mullet. It’s a tad more tricky, the Rat Tail. At first you might think, oh what a nice looking lit…Sweet Swirling Onion Rings! What is that creature clinging to the nape of his neck?!”

Madam, that is his Rat Tail. He worked very hard to cultivate such a piece. If you’re lucky he’ll let you yank it. Nah, he won’t. That would really hurt. We reserve the right to yank when he’s been very naughty.

little boy with bowl cut

 

Now this is just pure laziness. I get it, but it’s lazy. A bowl is never a good template for anything that will adorn your body. Maybe you need a perfect circle for a school art project—but not your kid’s hair. No.

lloyd christmas hair

 

I was woo’ed back in high school by my husband quoting lines from Dumb and Dumber. I love me some Harry and Lloyd. I do.

“We got no food, no jobs…OUR PET’S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!”

“So you’re sayin’ there’s a chance?”

“According to the map we’ve only gone four inches.”

Alright. I’m done. Some people are serenaded. I was inundated with Dumb and Dumber humor. And it worked. It didn’t hurt that I was 16…But I bet I’d fall for it now.

Back to the hair cut. I didn’t leave him looking like Lloyd Christmas. Fear not. He’s still drool worthy {but I am probably going to have him grow it out again}

Feast ye eyes!

 

Fess up. Have you ever given your kid a really horrible hair cut just to get a good picture?

56 Responses to Five Horrible Haircuts For Little BoysJan 22nd

  1. Kim@Co-Pilot Mom January 22, 2013 at 11:03 am #

    This is great – I completely agree with your choices! I admit that I have not given a bad hair cut for the sake of a picture – but I have attempted to cut bangs (without much success) once.

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 9:40 pm #

      Bangs for who….you, or the boys?

  2. Jenny @ Creatively Blooming January 22, 2013 at 5:44 pm #

    Haha! This is an awesome post! I have never tried cutting my sons hair, but I did manage to give my little girl a pretty cute bob cut. I was proud of myself – especially since I manage to butcher my bangs every time I try to trim them! And your son’s new haircut looks so cute! I love his pucker up picture!

  3. Sarah January 22, 2013 at 6:24 pm #

    I love it when people let their little boys grow their hair surfer-long, but I also always loved it when we’d buzz their heads for summer– and then it was like you’d see their faces and expressions for the first time all over again!

    Give me little boys to style over little girls any day!

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

      I had completely forgotten what his eyebrows looked like :)

  4. anna January 22, 2013 at 6:52 pm #

    his final hair cut is so cute, i almost forgot about the terrible ones he had on the way there – almost. my son wears his hair long (he has curls, how could i cut them?) but one more stranger calling him a girl and my husband is gonna insist we cut it!

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

      That is seriously what made me do it. I don’t know how I forgot to include that in the post–but really, I got so tired of people thinking he was a girl.

  5. Mel January 22, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

    Hah! It turned out adorable.

    • hillary January 22, 2013 at 10:19 pm #

      Thanks–I sure put him through the ringer though 😉

  6. Jeanne January 22, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

    His haircut now fits him to a tee! My son had the surfer boy long, the mullet and the rat tail. His (and my) favorite haircut after those was the buzz cut.

    • hillary January 22, 2013 at 10:18 pm #

      Thank you! I love seeing his sweet little face :)

  7. Melanie January 22, 2013 at 11:28 pm #

    Got a kick out of this! Hope you don’t mind but I shared it with my followers on FB. – Found you through SITS today.

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 3:18 am #

      Absolutely! Thank you!

  8. Kirsten Hayes January 23, 2013 at 1:58 am #

    The Lloyd Christmas is my favorite!

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 3:18 am #

      Hahah the look on his face is so funny. It could also be called the Chris Farley…

  9. Margo Hayes January 23, 2013 at 2:10 am #

    Hahaha! I laughed all the way through this one! However, the last cut is definitely the best. But don’t make toooo much fun of the bowl – you know that was really “in” when your big brothers were a little older than Chauce. Got to confess I’ve never liked the mullet or the rat-tail… the latter really does make me think of a rat’s behind:/

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 3:17 am #

      I remember both of them with bowl cuts. And they looked like dorks, Mom.

  10. kerri January 23, 2013 at 2:30 am #

    Oooohmygah. I have never taken my son to get a real hair cut, and he is 7. He has never had what I would call “short” hair! I can’t say that the end result is always the best, but at least I can blame myself. :) I wish I could show you pics of what his hair used to look like.

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 3:16 am #

      I’d love to see!

  11. Candace Hayes January 23, 2013 at 2:30 am #

    HILARIOUS!!!! How you come up with ideas,I don’t know. But i’m glad you did for our sake. One day he’s gonna kill you for doing this to him, hahaha. I love it, miss you guys!

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 3:16 am #

      I’m envisioning these photos in a wedding slideshow some day 😉

  12. kerri January 23, 2013 at 2:33 am #

    Your son is utterly adorable, btdub.

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 3:15 am #

      Thank you! :)

  13. Aleta January 23, 2013 at 4:02 am #

    OMG, those were hilarious hair cutes. Love that last picture though – priceless! Awww

  14. Kristiina January 23, 2013 at 4:29 am #

    OMG you are the best. I love for this.

  15. hollow tree ventures January 23, 2013 at 5:20 am #

    Perfect choices! And the final cut is a-dor-a-ble. Love. I’m still crying tears of laughter over, “…our pet’s heads are falling off,” though. How did I forget about that???? (“Well, he was old.”)

    Aaaaanyway, well done, on all fronts!

    • hillary January 24, 2013 at 4:11 am #

      The hubs and I had so much fun reminiscing through Dumb and Dumber quotes. I need to purchase this movie.

  16. villagegirl January 23, 2013 at 5:30 am #

    Oh my stars! Those are so funny! About a year ago, my youngest said he would like a mullet for his next hair cut (he was 5…seriously, how did he even know what that was??). I nearly choked and then proceeded to tell him that they didn’t actually make that hair cut any more. Thankfully that satisfied him and he hasn’t asked since!

  17. Sarcasm Goddess January 23, 2013 at 6:29 am #

    Haha! The mullet and the middle part are THE WORST. And so is the rat tail.

    What a cutie you have!

    • hillary January 23, 2013 at 8:11 am #

      Thanks–he’ll probably kill me later for posting this. Oh well.

  18. Rhoda Jane January 23, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    Love the final cut! Such a cutie!!

  19. Adrienne January 23, 2013 at 12:33 pm #

    Haha! I’m impressed that you cut the hair! My boys need haircuts! Thanks for the reminder.

    • hillary January 24, 2013 at 4:12 am #

      Well, enough people were mistaking him for a girl…but I miss it already.

  20. Wombat Central January 23, 2013 at 12:54 pm #

    What, no mushroom ‘do? 😉 Loved this post, and I’m a sucker for a boy or man with short hair. Love his final cut! My son (10) wanted to grow his out to surfer length, and it actually looks great on him. I had it short for so many years–I never knew how cute it could be to see his curls grow out!

    “Put another shrimp on the barbie!”

    • hillary January 24, 2013 at 4:14 am #

      How could I forget the mushroom? Gah! We’ll have to do a take two once he’s grown it out again.

  21. Ninja Mom January 23, 2013 at 3:24 pm #

    Wow. I can’t pick a “favorite.” They are equally horrific. Brava!

  22. Chris Carter January 23, 2013 at 4:27 pm #

    Oh have I had HORRIBLE luck with cutting my son’s hair!!! I cry every time we take him…so I now have given the job over to my hubs. I fret while they are gone, but I suppose the hair cuts are getting a bit better. I hate cutting his precious blond hair off…. still trying to figure out the best cut for him. Love all the pictures! TOO cute!! :)

    • hillary January 24, 2013 at 4:14 am #

      Well, at least you now know what NOT to do :)

  23. Amy January 23, 2013 at 5:36 pm #

    My boy gets his hair cut at home, too, and I can’t wait to have a little fun with his hair when the scissors come out next!

    Your son is adorable…even with a rat tail!

    • hillary January 24, 2013 at 4:13 am #

      I actually didn’t cut it–my neighbor did and she was such a sport to put up with my shenanigans.

  24. Elaine A. January 23, 2013 at 7:36 pm #

    I have never given my kid a hair cut. My husband did buzz my oldest son’s hair once but he did not like it because he didn’t have any hair to play with for a while after that…

    You made me LOL with the “face looks like a butt” comment.

    Great post, that’s for the giggles! 😀

    • hillary January 24, 2013 at 4:11 am #

      It really does look like a butt, huh?

  25. Jackie January 24, 2013 at 2:55 am #

    OMG… you’re a brave mama!! I do love his new hair cut though.

    My son has been rocking the surfer boy style for a while now because I just can’t cut his curls off. They’re just to cute.

    • hillary January 24, 2013 at 4:09 am #

      Well…lets just say I’m mourning the curls. Still.

  26. 4Hairstyles January 28, 2013 at 2:21 pm #

    Not all of them are horrible, but no. 2 and 3 were just too horrible, I’d never imagine that style on my little brother’s hair. Thanks for this great article.

    • hillary January 28, 2013 at 6:40 pm #

      Really? You don’t think the mullet was horrible? :)

  27. Sarah January 31, 2013 at 12:37 pm #

    Would you please come over and trim my son’s hair? I could pass on all 5 of the bad cuts (besides, he won’t let you stick around with the scissors long enough to have fun), but I am SERIOUSLY bad with the scissors and I would probably do a better job with a SuckCut (“It sucks… as it cuts!” “It certainly does suck…”) Here’s hoping he’ll forgive me in the end, but at least he can see out now.

    • hillary January 31, 2013 at 7:20 pm #

      Oh! You wouldn’t want me in charge of his hair! I had a friend do it–she’s a professional :)

  28. wendy jean February 1, 2013 at 4:43 am #

    Your post is hilarious!! Love it! Your son was a trooper to sit through the haircuts and pictures. He looks adorable now!!

    • hillary February 1, 2013 at 5:42 am #

      Yes…he’s a good sport overall :)

  29. christina February 1, 2013 at 9:53 pm #

    hahaHA! I definitely try to avoid these like the plague. I have, however, seen some braided rat tails that I liked – but I dig Latino men, obviously 😉

    • hillary February 2, 2013 at 11:23 pm #

      Oh my. Well, I guess if the guy is hot then a little tail wouldn’t be so…no. Sorry. Haha

  30. laurie February 2, 2013 at 6:43 am #

    Wow they are wierd haircuts but your son doesn’t look that horrible in them… Thanks for teaching me a lesson!

  31. Tara February 7, 2013 at 4:13 am #

    What a good sport! This is why I either shave my boys heads or take them somewhere. I would do a HORRIBLE job!

    • hillary February 7, 2013 at 7:05 am #

      He got his MnMs and that’s all he cared about :)

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