A Killjoy Christmas

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Oh by gosh by…what?

I’m just gonna start out by saying that a.) I know it’s August, b.) I realize that Christmas is four months away, and c.) Coco does not.

Unfortunately, my almost three year old daughter likes to watch the same movie over and over again.

Fortunately, the “repeat” button only needs to be pushed for about two weeks before she’s sick of it.

Unfortunately, the “repeat” button only needs to be pushed twice before I’m sick of it.

Fortunately, we kicked Barney to the curb six months ago (and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men will never put Barney together again).

Unfortunately, she is really digging Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (1964) right now.

Fortunately, I used to love this film.

Unfortunately, now I don’t.

Fortunately, I’m done saying fortunately and unfortunately, and am wondering why I unfortunately starting saying fortunately.

Fortunatelyunfortunatelyfortunatelyunfortunatelyfortunatelyunfortunatelyfortunatelyunfortunatelyblahh

Back to my beef with Rudolph. I’m gonna try to say this without saying either of the aforementioned words ever again.

This is really a sad matter, now that I think about it. The film has been a recurring Christmas tradition for both Matt and I, and we were the ones that introduced it to Coco. But, after seeing it like five zillion times in the last few weeks, I’ve come to the realization that Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer is a depressing movie.

Before I tell you why, though, let me just list a few things that I do like about it.

1.) Burl Ives. Enough said.

2.) The amazing clay and felt animation. Duh.

3.) The elves’ clothes–mostly because the reappear in Elf and that is one of my all time favoritest Christmas flicks.

Have I buttered you up enough to receive the bad news?

1.) Rudolph’s dad is a jerk. As soon as Rudolph is born, Donner yells, “His nose blinks like a blinkin beacon!”

I suppose he would have been just as disturbed if his infant reindeer had come out with a club hoof or a cleft snout, huh? Jerk.

2.) Santa is a jerk. That’s right, Santa is a jerk. He is just as prejudiced as his snobby reindeer. What the heck? Since when is Santa biased? (Excluding the whole Naughty and Nice thing, of course).

Not only is he mean to Rudolph—you should see the way he sulks and then walks out on the elves during choir practice.

3.) Everyone’s stressed out, and really, it’s no wonder. Santa’s a jerk, the reindeer are jerks, and the Elf Boss Man is a jerk. The film is just full of jerks. And this is my main problem with it. I literally get stressed out when I see it.

 In case your questioning my harsh judgment, may I remind you of the Island of Misfit Toys? You know, the place where all the broken or defected toys go. It’s so sad. The poor toys sit around a fire “dreaming” of next Christmas when Santa will come and take them away from their sad prison.

And he never shows up. It’s so depressing.  Eventually, they get out of there–thanks to Rudolph, but if it weren’t for him, there would have been no change.

I know, I know. It all works out in the end. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, “Rudolph with your nose so bright…”

But now that you know Santa, you realize that he’s just using Rudolph. Woopdeedoo, Rudolph, your job title is about to be replaced by a flashlight.

Ugh.

I really don’t like that movie anymore. And you shouldn’t either.

The end.


P.S. I apologize for getting any Christmas songs stuck in your head.

P.S.S. Unfortunately it’s the consequence of talking about anything related to Burl Ives. Or Reindeer.

P.S.S.S. This might be my most annoying post ever. Fortunately I’ll never do it again.

27 thoughts on “A Killjoy Christmas

  1. hilljean

    You know, there are quite a few “oldies but goodies” that have some dark stuff in them. Nowadays everything is so PC that you won’t really see it. Thanks for sharing it ????

    Reply
  2. hilljean

    Oh, I’m all for Christmas all year long. Just not Rudolph ????

    Reply
  3. hilljean

    Hello! omg, I so need to save for black friday.
    I’m following you from Monday Monkey GFC Blog Hop
    I am a part of the blog hop.
    I’m following your site via Google Friend Connect, Facebook, Twitter,
    Networked Blogs, etc. if applicable!
    I hope you had a great weekend!
    -Sonia G.
    http://moderngirllife.blogspot.com

    Reply
  4. hilljean

    Wise woman. Yeah, I’ll take Mickey’s version any day. Christmas is in my blood right now, though! I am soooo excited for the season. And fall, too. I smelled cinnamon pinecones in Safeway the other day and I came unglued. Craving all things pumpkin, cinnamon, and warm. Ahh.

    Reply
  5. hilljean

    Hmmm. Doesn’t she have a birthday coming up?? Muahahaha. I could totally see Josie loving it. She’s quirky–like Coco, and would probably totally attach to Rudolph, an Elf, or the Snow Monster. ????

    Reply
  6. hilljean

    Replaced by a flashlight – wow. And here, I used to LOVE that cute Christmas show. Reminds me of when I was little too. Even my husband will watch it when it comes on during the season.

    Reply
  7. hilljean

    If you ever buy that movie for my daughter… I swear. Funny post Hillster, never liked the flick either. Just a downright depressing movie, sort of like “It’s a wonderful life.” So many jerks in it. —Joe

    Reply
  8. hilljean

    Toy Story 3 is awesome. I have absolutely no complaint with it. But I am just so dang tired of Rudolph.

    Reply
  9. hilljean

    I love that movie!! And I am so totally obsessed with Christmas! I am counting down the days. Okay, the counting actually started in April, but who’s counting! Ha! I love that movie so much and I should be mad at all the bad things you said about it, but I actually kinda agree. Fortunately I haven’t watched a bajillion times in the last few days so I still like it. Look! I said fortunately! Island of Misfit Toys – so depressing!

    Reply
  10. hilljean

    yep, i totally agree! Christmas must be in the air for the toddlers, because my just-turned-3 year old just finished watching the Polar Express and Rulolph. FORTUNATELY i think she liked the Polar Express a little better than Rulolph. ????

    Reply
  11. hilljean

    oooh Polar Express! That’s a good one. And it doesn’t kill the image of Santa Claus either!

    Reply
  12. hilljean

    I sympathize.. but I admit, when I was little I LOVED the movie the Night They Saved Christmas and I would watch it again and again throughout the year. When you’re young, it’s always Christmas appropriate time!

    Reply
  13. hilljean

    Now that you have pointed all that out, UNFORTUNATELY I may never be able to watch that movie again. Thanks for setting us all straight ????

    Reply
  14. hilljean

    Hello!!
    My 2 year old is the same way with Toy Story 3 right now. We play it all the time. He does the same thing with his favorite books. Lol. But, anything to keep him from being cranky ????
    I LOVE that Rudolph movie too!!

    Reply
  15. hilljean

    I still love it. haha. I’m a new follower from Monday Monkey hop. ???? Hope you can stop by.

    Reply
  16. hilljean

    Gotta say – loved your post. I didn’t care for the movie for the same reasons, BUT I wasn’t brave enough to voice it like you were! Posted to My Life.’s facebook page.

    Reply
  17. hilljean

    My mom, who is beyond OBSESSED with Christmas, never let us watch any of those 1960’s Christmas movies. She said they were creepy, so we watched the Disney and Jim Henson flicks instead. Having watched them as an adult, I have to say I don’t think I missed much! Bring on Mickey’s “A Christmas Carol!”

    Reply
  18. hilljean

    Shoot! I guess I wasn’t persuasive enough. Oh well. To each his own ???? Thanks for stopping by!

    Reply
  19. hilljean

    Girl, I am with you on this one. This was far and away my FAVORITE Christmast movie as a kid. Now that I have a kid an we watch it, I am very conflicted. Everyone is so mean and angry. And sexist! Have you noticed the sexism? But I am assuming since i never noticed those things when I watched it as a kid taht my kids won’t either.

    Reply
  20. hilljean

    Sorry. I know, and it was nostalgic for me–and probably always will be now that my kid is so attached to it. But, there are some dark parts to it, that’s for sure.

    Reply
  21. hilljean

    How unfortunate ???? I know, that’s why I called it a kill joy Christmas. I doubt that many people would want to hear about that, but I just wanted to get it out there.

    Reply
  22. hilljean

    My kids aren’t seasonal when it comes to movies either. FORTUNATELY, Amelia’s favorite has been the Simpson’s Christmas DVDs which, while wildly inappropriate for a two year old, I’m thrilled to listen to over and over again!

    Reply
  23. hilljean

    Sheesh! I forgot about Black Friday–I never really make it out though. Maybe this year! Thank you!

    Reply
  24. hilljean

    I don’t know. My hubby said that when he was a kid he thought that the North Pole sucked and that everyone just had to work and get yelled at all the time. And if he caught onto that, that’s a pretty big deal. He’s about as unobservant as a goldfish sometimes. Sometimes ????

    Reply

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