How My Two Year Old Took Me By Surprise

By | October 4, 2012
How My Two Year Old Took Me By Surprise

He was just not having any of it. The car seat, the ride home, the getting out of the car, the getting into the crib. None of it.

I was going to win, of course. I’ve got 26 years on him and probably about 100 pounds….I know, you’re totally wondering what he weighs now, huh?

Anyways, it was a battle of the wills, but I knew better. He was just exhausted. Still, he fought long and hard, and while I may be a good 100 pounds heavier, I only have so much energy for a thrashing, kicking, screaming, mouth-foaming toddler.

I grabbed his “baby,” his “pat” (pacifier) and “blankie.” My, this child is high maintenance. I carried him out to the recliner and set about to rocking away his demons.

“shush, shush, shush.”

pat, pat, pat.

rock, rock, rock.


The faithful whine stopper, the “pat,” was spit out with a fury I could not match.

Why couldn’t he just let go? Suck the stinking pacifier, hold his baby, and snuggle into my bosom like the sweet little one he used to be?

I was about to give up–grab some chocolate chips–anything that would make him stop crying and fighting me. I have this weird thing where if a child whines or screams for too long my eyes pop out like Mr. Potato head. Funny, you’d think my ears would be the ones to go, but nope. My eyes fall out and all I see is red.

With one more attempt, I plopped the pacifier back in his mouth. Of course, he spit it out.

“I all done, Mama!” he wailed.

Just take the freaking pacifier, I muttered under my breath.

“I all done!”

No, you can’t be done with the pacifier. I know you’re almost two, but I need this. We need this.

I tried to shove it in again, for good measure.

“No! No pat! No PAT!!!”

“You’re all done with your pat?” I finally asked.

All of a sudden the fit was over. He relaxed in my arms and wiped his snotty nose on his sleeve.

“No pat. I all done bein’ naughty. I sorry, Mama.”

To say this took me by surprise would be a gross understatement.

A rosy, fuzzy, pink glow replaced the terrible vision of Scorsese red. Angels started singing somewhere behind my recliner. My eyes filled with tears.

He sat up, gave me a big, slobbery kiss and asked if we could watch Barney. I would’ve have lassoed the moon if only he had asked.

“Of course you can watch Barney, my baby! My sweet boy!”

We spent the next 40 minutes sitting together watching that purple dinosaur and those overly eager children  sing about numbers and brushing their teeth. It didn’t matter that those kids bug the crap out of me and their songs get stuck in my head like gum in my hair. I didn’t care a whit.

 No, he is most certainly not that cherub baby I used to know. The one who adored me, worshipped me with puppy eyes, and made me feel like a big cinnamon roll.

He’s a little boy. A wild, dirty, loud, adventurous little boy who has a will and a way of his own.

But no matter how difficult some days are, and how frazzled I am at the end of them, we’re doing something right.

I have to say, it took me by surprise and it was fabulous.

Mama’s Losin’ It

32 thoughts on “How My Two Year Old Took Me By Surprise

  1. hilljean

    Awwwww *sniff* Absolutely LOVED this. What a beautiful moment you shared together ????

  2. hilljean

    They’re catchy, alright. So catchy you can’t ever get rid of them haha ????

  3. hilljean

    Loved this! He’s so precious – I can hear him saying those words…

  4. hilljean

    What a great post! What a sweet boy, and I would definitely say you are doing something very right! ???? Stopping by from SITS.

  5. hilljean

    Very bittersweet :/ And he was banned for our second child, but out of desperation we resurrected him. Of course he’s the only thing my son will sit still to watch. Of course.

  6. hilljean

    This was a fabulous moment. Us mommies, we eat up moments like that. They make it all worth it.

  7. hilljean

    Awww…I want to give that lil guy a squeeze. Good on you, mama.

  8. hilljean

    My heart TOTALLY melted! And, the chocolate chips were for both of us ????

  9. hilljean

    “I all done bein’ naughty. I sorry, Mama.” Holy cow. I bet that was a surprise. Especially when you were so exhausted. I remember those days. I have one who still exhausts me emotionally. You little guy is precious.

  10. hilljean

    Hahah! Maybe it was a fluke thing, but it sure made me happy.

  11. hilljean

    Haha! I know. I totally wanted to take him to Target and buy him a giant toy. But all he wanted was Barney ????

  12. hilljean

    Seriously. Barney. For real. I don’t buy a MINUTE of those kids’ enthusiasm. (Aw for the binky. What a grown up little man. Sniffle.)

  13. hilljean

    I think God gives them to us to keep going. What would we do without them?

  14. hilljean

    Wow. I go through those days with my 2 yo…I wish he had a ‘pat’. Mine have a thumb that he’s NOT all done with. Enjoy the tremendous two’s.

  15. hilljean

    {Melinda} Awesome … those moments are awesome! And believe it or not, you still get them (although in a bit different form) when they are teenagers! And although we don’t watch Barney when they’re over, I am so incredibly grateful. ????

  16. hilljean

    I needed a lot of chocolate and red wine to get through the 2’s and 3’s with my daughter— oh but you meant the chocolate chips for him? I bet your heart just melted when he said, “No pat. I all done bein’ naughty. I sorry, Mama.” They’re a handful but so adorable at that age. ( I saw your comment on another post today and remembered you from SITS)

  17. hilljean

    I could totally see a teenager saying something akin to, “sorry for being a jerk, mom.” And then everything being “all good.”

  18. hilljean

    That’s enough to just finish you off, isn’t it? What a blessing after such a stressful moment.

  19. hilljean

    My two year old daughter said almost the exact same words to me the other day and I think I would have done anything she asked me after that!

  20. hilljean

    OMG I love this. How sweet is he. Makes all the wild fits well worth it.


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