The Top Seven Things About Being Pregnant

Lately I’ve found myself constantly complaining about the ailments of pregnancy.

I feel so fat!

My tailbone is stabbing me!

I’m sick of my bladder.

So I have to be hungry all the time AND have heartburn?!

I could go on, but the purpose of this post is to stop the whining for a sec (only for a sec, because let’s face it, I’m entitled to whine) and focus on the fun things about pregnancy. I need this. It will be a good exercise. And if you’re pregnant or have been pregnant or want to be pregnant, these are good reminders.

1.) I can play the pregnancy card whenever I flipping want.

“I simply cannot cook today. I’m pregnant!”

“I’m sorry it smells bad, I’m pregnant!”

“I’d really love to be there, but…I’m pregnant!”

2.) Old people think I’m adorable. It’s nice, really. I like to feel endearing and precious, I mean, don’t you? Sheesh, babies and toddlers have it made. It’s not at all uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of a coo. Don’t confuse that with coup.

3.) I get to eat a lot. I hate feeling fat, and I’m definitely looking forward to losing weight in the future, but MAN! I love to eat. I’m gonna miss this when it’s over.

4.) I post a picture of myself on Instagram and I get a shower of praise. Listen folks, I do not feel pretty these days. I am not the twig who swallowed a basketball and looks adorable in anything. I am the girl who is pregnant up to her earlobes. But, when I post a silhouette shot the crowds go wild.

Its the sweetest thing ever for a grumpy preggo. Do you follow me on Instagram? Don’t you want to see how “adorable” I am? {pssst! I’m @thehilljean}.

5.) I get to waddle. Y’all. Waddling is legit. It feels SO good when you’re tired. There have been many times when I find myself not pregnant but dog-tired, and a jaunty walk just will not do.

I can’t waddle like Jemima Puddleduck because I have no real excuse.

In pregnancy, waddling is adorable. My husband gushes with “awwws” and delighted laughter. He’s kinda-sorta the best because he actually thinks I’m the cutest when preggo. Thank heavens. Because waddling is the only system that will get me from A to B.

6.) I can play the pregnancy card whenever I flipping want. Did I already say this? Oh well. It really is a nice tool to have on hand. I don’t feel like you can play the postpartum-recovery card quite like the preggo one. Or the “my baby has colic” card. Or the “I’ve been pooped on three times in one day” card. Or “my kid had a meltdown that would turn the eye of Sauron” card.

Heck. Even the period card shrivels in comparison to the behemoth that IS pregnancy.

The pregnancy card trumps them all. It’s absolutely delightful…until I have to really use it because my back is killing me or my heartburn is strangling me.

See how I did that? I made you feel bad AND I gave myself an excuse.

7.) I can hold onto the hope that it won’t be like this after I have the baby. When I’m at my worst, I remind myself that  a tiny human being resides in my unfortunately short abdomen. This human being is taking all of my energy, all of my hormones, and all of my time. But it won’t last forever.

It’s nice to know, the third time around, that this is temporary and that there is a reward. I cannot wait to meet my darling little boy and nestle him in my arms.

I cannot wait for it to be just the two of us, with him on the outside. I will whisper things that no one else will ever hear. I will bare my soul and give my body for him. He is worth it.

This momma just needs a few reminders now and then…