How You Know Your Child Is Ready For Pre-School

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Today’s the day. Coco starts preschool. Pre K, to be precise. Confession: I still don’t know what the difference is…I somehow feel that adding the K makes it sound much more serious.

 When people hear about this grand venture into the big world they say something like, “Oh, but aren’t you sad?” As if her being gone for three hours a day (four days a week) is a bad thing. Without missing a beat, I chirp back, “I’m not sad! I’m glad!” And I’m not even advertising for trash bags. Huh.

 You see, I’m ready and she’s ready. The transition is timely. She needs to go to school.

Here’s why I’m certain we are ready:

 1. She’s almost, almost outgrown Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Guys, this is a big deal. MMC is responsible for her knowledge of shapes, numbers, and oh yah, the alphabet. They kind of operated their own preschool in my living room from about 7:45-9:45 AM, 5 days a week.

 You could say they are a big influence. And she’s growing OUT of them! Gasp. Lately I’ve detected a pronounced attitude of boredom. This could be because she’s seen all 254 episodes 30 times a pop, I don’t know. She’s smart, what can I say? All I know is Chaucer is paying more attention than Coco and he pretty much hates TV. Unfortunately.

2. She can do the basics. Pretty much. She will ready her toothbrush, pull up her panties, and pick out the most horrendous outfit imaginable. Maybe she’ll give Lady Gaga a run for her money—who I am I to stop her? She can dress herself, and this is a sure sign.

 3. She’s asking way too many questions. Why? Why? Why? Who is that? What is that for? Why do you have that? Can I have that? Who gave that to you? How did you get that? Will I ever get that? What can I do to get that? I don’t see why I can’t have that. It goes on and on.

Surely there are more trained and qualified individuals out there who went to school to answer these very questions. Early Childhood Development? Why yes, you are just the one I was looking for. My daughter has some questions—try not to screw her up, and don’t be alarmed if she starts humming the Hotdog Song.

 4. She’s always skulking off with my iPhone. Ugh. Freaking Calliou…in English, Spanish, French, and Chinese. Yes, even in Zulu. I find her in my closet, under the table, and behind the recliner. There must be better things she could be doing elsewhere than watching a whiney four-year old boy who still hasn’t grown any hair. Not to mention the fact that some obnoxious Grandma is narrating his life and making excuses for all of his horrific faults. Yuck.

5. She’s getting annoyed with her brother. I think this is a great developmental step in life. When you start to despise your brother’s deeds marks a development in wit, attitude, and expectations of society. It’s like you join the ranks of all older sisters in being irritated with your little brother. She needs to share this with other people her age. While I can clearly sympathize, there is that generational gap, and, oh yah, the fact that I’m the mom and need to be fair. Hmmm.

 6. She’s getting bored. It used to be I could give her a toy, or even release her to the playground, and that would be enough. This is no longer the case. She’s bored. She wants me to play with her. She want’s me to tell her to do something. The only answer I have for her in this circumstance is to fold laundry or take out the trash. Because that’s what I tell my husband when he mutters a similar complaint.

7. We’re driving each other nuts. Someone needs to go, and I was here first. So, yah.

I think I’m gonna miss her just a teeny, tiny bit though.

* By the way, these photos were taken by the marvelous Emily Rickard of Juxtapose Media. I cannot WAIT to show you the Awkward Family Photos on Wordful Wednesday. Oh, and I’ll also show you the good family photos. And the awkward ones that were supposed to be good but turned out awkward. So fun.

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